Pretending was never easy, but it became one of her hobby. You could say she has lost herself in the world of dissemble. For her, everyday was a battle between pretending or letting it go. There were times where she  wouldn’t know if she was just pretending to be happy or she actually was happy. There were times where she would make everyone happy, but she would keep the deepest darkest emotion holding back inside her. She wouldn’t let anyone to know how deep the scar was. She loved everyone more than herself, and she kept hurting herself even more in silence…

This life was leading her no where but toward the black hole. I tried helping her, and she refused the help… I tried loving her and she refused the love. She gave up, but there still was some hope… Some hope for her to be normal again,  and be able to live her life the way she wanted to and not pretend…

There was time where it was me who tried to help her to cope up with the pain she was suffering from, and now I am the only one who killed her, and she? Well, she made me strong. She made me face myself, my fear and my imperfections. She gave me the strength to look up in the mirror and smile back at myself. She made me me — who I am today.

— AL


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